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Loving Yourself Takes Effort

Author:

Joey Gomez

“Stay Collected” is common rhetoric that I use with this brand. When I say “Stay Collected”, it is really just a synonym for “hold yourself together you got this”. Stay Collected also means the same thing as:

  • Believe in yourself.
  • Accept yourself from the inside out.
  • Keep your shit together.
  • Count your blessings, be mindful of all the things you could be grateful for.

And so on…

With that being said, we all know that it can often not be so easy to just do those things. It can be hard, take a lot of effort and willpower, and will usually force you to go outside of your comfort zone. I’ve learned that if you don’t put in the effort to feel good, then you won’t end up where you want to be. My friend and mentor recently told me “Loving yourself takes work. It takes effort”.

The stuff I am talking about here is not the taking a warm bubble bath with candles and a glass of wine, or eating your favorite cheat meal type of self love. I am talking about the habits that you have in your lifestyle that you do basically every day that make you more capable of being the type of person you want to be. I am talking about your lifestyle.

My goal with sharing what I do in my life is to help you discover and implement your own habits that help you feel good on a regular basis.

Everyone has their own life. People have different modes of living. Mostly everyone has their own unique lifestyle and it’s based on what they do in life whether they are an accountant, an athlete, a college student, a nurse, etc. Different roles require different modes of being. What I do in my life to feel good, will probably differ from what you do in your life to feel good. Still, I believe there is a common core of principles that apply to every single human.

One of the things that I think everyone should do more of is spending time alone. One of my favorite escapes is to go for a walk or run outside without my phone. In todays hectic, fast-paced world it is easy to get caught up in everything going on and easy to forget to create time for yourself. This is something that should be a priority, not something that you will do if you “have enough time”. I will sometimes even go for a drive just because I love to have conversations with myself in the car (and dance parties). Being without my phone during this alone time is key. By doing this regularly and consistently you will get to know yourself better. You will start to connect with that familiar self that was there all along. You will start to ask the question “what do I REALLY want in this life?”. Not only will you ask that question, but you will start to ask yourself “HOW can I get there?”. Spending alone time will give you a chance to reflect on the past, and create a vision for the future. It will give you that necessary space to build a relationship with yourself. At the end of the day, you are your own best friend.

Along with building a good relationship with yourself, I think it is important for everyone to have a strong wellness foundation. There is plenty of science behind this and I am not the expert, but getting regular physical activity, eating healthy, getting adequate sleep, and managing stress are the main aspects of physical wellness. Every day I am getting some sort of physical activity in, even if it’s just a little bit. I eat at least 5 servings of fruits and veggies every day, and I try my best to be mindful of the sources or production methods of any foods I eat. A personal rule that I think of when I eat is “Eat foods that GIVE you energy and ONLY eat those.” I got that from master-trainer Joe Holder. Physical wellness is a huge aspect of my life, and I will go in more detail on future blog posts. Treating your body good will help you feel your best, which in turn will help you perform your best.

Just like how I feed my body, I also feed my mind. In my experience the same rule that goes for the body, goes for the mind also. If you eat like crap you will feel like crap, so if you feed your mind crap then your thoughts will be...crap. Every single day I am reading books, reading articles, watching constructive videos, listening to podcasts, etc. For me personally I absorb topics on self-improvement, the human condition, business, design, faith, fitness, communication, and more. I am relentlessly filling my mind with positive and thought provoking stimuli. I have been purposefully doing this for 3 years now and I can honestly say it has completely changed my life. Filling my mind with this stuff continuously develops my perspective on the world, on myself, and other people. If I want to get better at communicating with people I will read books and listen to podcasts on communication. If I want to learn how the body works I will watch videos and read books on physiology. If you really care about your mental health, it is absolutely critical that you are intentional and proactive with what you fill your mind with. In the end it’s really just about being curious about the world, and being curious about the limits of your own capabilities.

Going off of that, I also do a lot of writing. I probably have 10+ notebooks accumulated from the past couple years just for personal notes. Every good thought or idea I have I write on paper or in my iPhone notes. Honestly I’m afraid if I don’t write it down right away, then I may forget. Having my thoughts down on paper basically gives me a physical representation of what is going on in my head. Doing this helps me organize and assimilate. I might write for any occasion. I will write down my dreams in descriptive detail, and then follow up with actionable goals to reach those dreams. Or say I have a particularly good day, I will write about what happened that day and what made it good. It’s honestly so cool to go back and look at my notes from 1 or 2 years ago and reflect on how my life used to be and what kind of person I was. It makes me feel really connected. This is something that I think anyone, regardless of what their goals are, can get value from.

If you are having some difficulty finding those practices that energize you, try to do some reverse engineering. Think back to times when you WERE feeling good or you WERE feeling energized. What food had you just eaten? What activity did you just do? What person were you just interacting with? What video were you watching? Being aware of the type of things that energize you will make it easier to continue doing those things, and also make it easier to avoid the activities that drain your energy.

It’s about doing things that empower you. Doing things that give you energy. Doing things that give you mental clarity. We’ve all been there in one way or another.

I hope all of you reading this are putting in the effort daily to love yourself. Taking care of yourself not only impacts you, but it impacts all of the people around you. Stay Collected, love yourself, and love others.

3 comments

  • Loved your message, Joe. Spend time alone for reflection, affirm your talents, love yourself, and collaborate with others. Yes, yes, yes and yes.

    Nan
  • Absolutely humbling read, and the specific on spending time alone and ACTUALLY getting to know yourself is something that is far too underrated !

    Zachary Point
  • “I don’t have time” – said no alive person ever.

    Trevor

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